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Will you still love me, tomorrow?


This is me at three. You know I am three because you can tell by the number of fingers I am holding up and I have always been a fan of talking in numbers.

Anyway, it was Halloween and you can’t tell what my costume is because it’s a shit costume.

Being immigrants – and if you don’t already know, immigrant parents give zero fucks about your bullshit-made-for-drugstore-sale holidays – the story I’ve retained in my head was that my Asian mother forgot about Halloween. We get to school and everyone is in a costume and I can’t be the only kid not in a costume. We jump back into the Ford Taurus and my mum sews leaves and patches on to my clothes. Rubs dirt on my face et voila! I am a bum for Halloween. I am three and I am a bum for Halloween. My mother dressed me up as a homeless person and she thought it was hilarious because she gives zero fucks about Halloween.

I, on the other hand, am three and I am fucking devastated and humiliated.
You can tell because in this picture I am clearly the only child without a ‘real’ costume and I am not smiling.

I got over it.

It doesn’t matter that I was strange and upset because in the end, I triumphed. I don’t know what happened to almost all of the others kids in that class but I also don’t care because we can betcher bottom dollar that I WIN.

It’s been a while since anyone’s talked about Tiger Moms, but every day I am reminded that I am a product of a Tiger Mom and as a result, totally a Tiger Mom myself. This is related to the rest of the post insofar as I believe that you need to focus on what matters (personal success) and what doesn’t (being dealt a bad circumstance).

Some moms don’t subscribe to Halloween. They might make you feel like shit from time to time.

The important thing is if they direct you to your highest potential.
That they teach you when you get knocked down by anyone, anything, or any occasion to get the fuck back up.
So if you have to cry, go outside for this is not the place, and I am not the kind of person you should be going to.
I am the kind of person who will tell you to go home, get that dirt off yo face, try harder, and win at life.

Happy Halloween!

(From my Asian mother’s facebook timeline, because all of a sudden, Halloween’s a thing she does now.
I guess I’ll ease up when I’m older.)

This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 31, 2012 at 9:19 am, filed under Funny, Joey Ng, Self-diagnoses, Writing and tagged , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.


I love this colour, it looks like juicebox punch.
This shade is exclusive to the American Apparel kids collection, I bought a size 6 and am wearing it as a crop top.

Are you mini like me? Try browsing through the kids section at your usual retail haunts.
Youth or teen sizing may fit you just right, plus the prices and taxes are a lot less!

Coral Kids Fisherman Pullover: American Apparel
Black Patent Reversible Leather Belt: American Apparel
Black Cotton Ottoman High-Waist Hot Short: American Apparel
Black Sheer Luxe Pin Dots Shapes Pantyhose: American Apparel
Black Suede Square Wedges: American Apparel


This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 30, 2012 at 6:53 pm, filed under Fashion, Joey Ng, Montreal, Outfits, Photos and tagged , , , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Black & Yellow,
Black & Yellow,
& Emerald

Trying a little harder not to wear just a sweatshirt, black jeans, leather jacket every day.

Black Cotton Spandex Jersey Mock Neck Bodysuit: American Apparel
Spruce Long Accordion-Pleat Skirt: American Apparel
Patent Black Reversible Leather Belt: American Apparel
Gold necklace: Mum’s vintage Givenchy
Large watch: Dad’s vintage Rolex
Medium watch: vintage Casio from American Apparel
Small watch: Mum’s vintage Girard-Perregeaux


This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 19, 2012 at 3:23 pm, filed under Joey Ng, New York, Outfits, Photos and tagged , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.


The best part of throwing my wedding bouquet to only Leanne was

how pissed it made every other girl. Too funny, sorry Maria.

But she deserved it! A huge thank you to Leanne and The Cardinal for all the amazing food.
Everyone loved the fried chicken!

Bouquet gifted by Chrysanthemum: Rare Teas & Flowers.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 17, 2012 at 7:32 pm, filed under Friends, Funny, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

What Albert Einstein taught me about love

This is my dog. It is a boy dog and his name is Albert Einstein.
I rescued him from the Harlem Animal Care & Control Center on August 18th because he was cute and he was going to die if I didn’t.

At first, he was meant to be a foster. We’d have him for a few weeks until he’d find a forever home but he was so well behaved and adorable, we decided to adopt him.

I love our dog. Chris loves our dog. Although, I am pretty sure that Chris loves our dog more than I love our dog.

This is my relationship with the dog. I don’t wake up in the morning to take it for a walk – Chris does that. I feed him. He’ll scratch at the door and I’ll let him into the room but he’s not allowed on the bed.

I say a few things like:

“Hello you are dog!”
“You are so cute!”
“Who’s a fluffy nutter? Albie!”

I make sure his vet and food costs are taken care of. That he is clean and warm and walked at appropriate intervals. That’s about it. That’s as far as my love goes.

Chris takes him out about 90% of the time (thank you). He sleeps with the dog. He talks about loving our dog so much and how that is why he knows he’s capable of loving, which in turn must mean that he’s not a bad person.

I think Chris loves our dog so much because our dog loves him back unconditionally. Albert’s needs are very simple. His job is to be cute and loving. That is it.

There is a point to this. My thoughts are, that it’s very easy for a man to love you. Make him feel like a better man, make sure that you love him a fuck ton, but especially, don’t be demanding with your love. Emphasis on the last part of that sentence.

Be simple and sweet.

But who wants to be simple?

That is why I’m glad I have a dog.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm, filed under Joey Ng, Love, New York, Photos, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.