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Will you still love me, tomorrow?

M8S

Thina Desancic & Tyson Murphy Wedding

So much is shit right now let’s just focus on something gr8.

Thina Desancic & Tyson Murphy

These 2 m8s got married.

Adam Nix and Joey Ng at Thina Desancic and Tyson Murphy Wedding, Ojai, CA

They knew

Thina Desancic

the moment he saw her

Louie The Dog

and smelled each other’s butts

Joey Ng Charlotte McLachlan. Ojai, CA

that they’d be m8s for life.

Adam Nix Joey Ng Kissing

And that first comes love

Thina Desancic Tyson Murphy wedding Ojai,CA

then comes marriage

Baby Zali

then practice making babies and if that doesn’t happen right away don’t be discouraged.

TT07

Just remember to have a laugh

TT07

slow dance

TT07

eat cake

TT07

more cake

TT07

and doncha forget champagne

TT07

or she won’t let you touch that booty.
TT07

and to love each other, immensely.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on February 2, 2017 at 1:14 pm, filed under Babes, Friends, Love, Photos and tagged , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

All I Wanna Say Is It’ll Be Alright


One Revolution Around The Sun from MTV c/o Richard Turley on Vimeo.

I started wearing my wedding band again. To remind myself that I’m stronger than I feel. I recently interviewed Amy Jo Martin, who wore red nail polish every day for 5 years as a confidence trigger whenever she felt unworthy.

This is my wedding band. It’s an ouroboros. Eternal chaos and renewal. My physician told me that my life has been series of crises, one after the other. He referred me to a crisis therapist, but I never called. Because I never feel stressed or sad unless it involves a broken heart.

Otherwise, I’m stronger than I feel.

In our time of shiny happy social media feeds, I figured I’d try to review my year in earnest and show you all of the darker periods and how it’s ok. How I’m doing ok and whatever shit you’re going through – that too shall pass.

Joey Ng Lower East Side New York 2015

THE CRISES

Divorce

This was the year that my divorce was final. And although I haven’t spoken to Chris since I filed a restraining order against him, it marked a real sense of closure. I don’t talk about this often, as it is a particularly painful story – but it is over. The important lessons are to always put your personal safety first and never let a broken person, break you.

This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome, which is why I’ve chosen the ring as my talisman for courage.

My boss, the CEO of American Apparel, Dov Charney gets booted from the company he founded

This has been covered extensively in the news. And while it may be fun schadenfreude fodder for those who have participated in the culture of American Apparel in some way for the past decade, this had very real and difficult ramifications in my life.

While I had been living out of a suitcase since 2009, I was accustomed to the organised chaos and rhythm in which we ran the company. I’d written about my thoughts on this here. There was an extremely high level of uncertainty and instability.

When you’ve dedicated most of the waking hours of your adult life to working there as I had, it often feels like your career is all you have. Some malevolent force was fucking with the one constant, my every day, my foundation, my family.

Joey Ng Brooklyn Bridge New York April 2015

I was fired

After 7 years of tenure, I was fired from both of my positions at American Apparel as Marketing Director and Retail Director of our Australian subsidiary. Under new management and within 2 weeks of a new supervisor – I encountered hostile bullying and discrimination, filed an HR complaint, 48 hours later I was out of a job, my US work visa, and $40,000 worth of unpaid bonuses.

This didn’t stop them from taking credit for positive work that myself and my colleagues were responsible for, after throwing us out the door.

American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy which make my shares worthless and legal claims effectively frozen. But bad situations give us the best ideas, my views changed in ways I never thought they would.

When cash is scarce, you figure out what your life essentials are. In things, in people, in beliefs. This means that I no longer put up with a lot of bullshit out of loyalty, obligation, or mercenary reasons.

albertlaptop960

My dog died

Miss you, Albert Einstein. You were a great physicist.

THE CURES

Now, remember how I said it’ll be alright? I had a destabilising year, but the pros always outweighed the cons and I thank Based God for the generosity of all the people in my life. Here’s what kept me afloat.

Great Sex

Incredible sex will change your life. Let’s not discredit how something so basic can alter your entire mood. I thought I was doing alright in this arena until I was dumbfounded by a specific experience. I asked my partner at the time how he became the best I’d ever had. For someone who never says much, his response was sweet and profound.

“It’s not me, it’s us. It’s about two people connecting, and we’re just very connected.”

Imagine going your entire life having never been vulnerable enough to share that kind of connection with someone.

Sometimes you have to love like you have nothing to lose.
And who knows? Your entire universe might expand in a moment of surrender.

kiaralenasusiemarieillythinatiffany

Female Friends

No relationship is stronger than that of a female bond. I wholeheartedly believe this. I just broke up with someone I really, really, really liked. For every time I’ve been in a tailspin, the unconditional support and humour from my friends and sisters have always brought me back to some semblance of sanity.

Women confide in each other and listen, really listen and care. It’s a type of intimacy that may never be achieved through romantic relationships. For romance to work, there has to be some suspension of belief and female friendships are as real as they get. Ugly cries, guilty admissions, secret slobby behaviours, and mental hospitalization levels of cray are all safe territory in the context of BFFs.

Love you, bitches.

DJ Slow Joey Ng Paris October 2015

Home

I’d never been to Europe before, and this year I made it a priority to get to Paris. It wasn’t all that.

My favourite moments were centered on one-on-one time spent in my air bnb with some very special dear-to-my-heart dudes.

Hot showers shared, home made breakfasts, listening to lesser-known Bieber tracks. It made me miss home.
Home being a person, and not a place.

Here’s to you, my people.

Happy New Year.
With love,

your girl.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on December 31, 2015 at 5:09 pm, filed under Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Love, New York, Sex, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

If you wanna be my lover

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

While I was at Morty’s place, his lovely friend, Brynn, came by and asked us to take part in a project where we’d get our photos taken and answer a bunch of questions as single people to let other single people know that it’s completely ok to be single.

IT’S OK TO BE SINGLE! Did you know?
Morty and I totally did not make any jokes about us being unmarriageble and definitely not any about being forever alone. [yes we did.]

Anyhoo, I eventually found out the project was intended as content marketing for a clothing company that I couldn’t co-sign with but nonetheless, here are my answers.

Read on if you want to know what it might take to get me to co-sign to your lifestyle brand life.

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

What are you looking for in a romantic partner?

David Letterman. A David Letterman that is also a massive fan of Drake.

How important is being in a relationship to you?

Out of 100, negative correlation to degrees fahrenheit.

What’s your favorite ice breaker (not pick-up line)?

Sliding into my DMs.

Have you ever had a “meet cute”?

Yes. Pretty much the same meet cute, which has happened twice.

What’s the best real-life “meet cute” you can recall?

I saw a hot guy during brunch a few tables away and thought nothing more of it. That night at a bar in the neighbourhood, I walked up to order drinks and he was the bartender. When he left at the end of his shift, he walked behind me and pulled on my hair – elementary school style – the rest is history.

Same thing happened more recently. Intimidatingly attractive guy spotted from afar at brunch. Saw him at a bar later that same day. I knew I just HAD to find an opportunity – and the balls – to talk to him. I’m so so so happy I did.

Tell me about your best/ideal date:

Best:
Waking up to a perfect, sunny Easter Sunday at Rick Rubin’s Malibu Ranch, eating Eggs Benny in the garden outside Bob Dylan’s old tour bus, then driving out to the beach listening to old Soul. Sprinkle in lots of booze, making out, and sex throughout the day. That’s a bit of name-dropping but I’d never been anywhere so tranquil, so imbued with history from musical legends that I adore with a man I loved even more.

Ideal:
Seeing a Drake concert where Louis CK is the special guest. With David Letterman. David Letterman holds my hand. Drake serenades me. Louis CK and I wander off into the dawn and discover eugenic methods whereby I can still have his ginger babies even though I’m Asian.

What do you most value in a friend?

The ability to tolerate me at my worst and never, ever, ever leaving our friendship despite me being the worst person ever. Thanks, friends!

What do you most value in a romantic partner?

Magic at kissing.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Smiling at puppies. Puppies smile back.

Which living person do you most admire?

My very own Tiger Mom.

What is the quality you like most in a man/woman?

Extraordinary talent in his chosen field of interest.

What is the quality you like least in a man/woman?

Substance addiction.

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

When and where were you happiest?

Giggling in bed with my best friend as we took selfles impersonating the dreadful faces that babies have in Renaissance paintings. see: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahjewell/renaissance-babies-who-cant-even

Photo credit: Brynn Campbell

This entry was written by Joey, posted on May 18, 2015 at 11:06 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto and tagged , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Distill

I don’t want the small talk

I don’t want a fucking coffee
you should know by now that I don’t drink it anyway
You know me better than this

I don’t need you to fix
anything

I want your bloody forsaken heart
I want your face between my legs
I want your tears before a closed door

I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want

you to

touch me
and do it again.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 22, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto, Writing and tagged , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Endless Winter

“You’ve reached Richard S. Gimbel the Second. Adjunct Professor, a Fashion Designer, and Visual Merchandising. Maker of unique apparel items and accessories. Amateur investigator. Native Phoenician and U.S. Patriot. Disc Jockey and traveling talent support. Likes architecture, confused by Burning Man. Please leave a message ranked in a scale of importance of 1 to 10. 1 being the invitation for a casual coffee date and 10 being the directions to a fall-out shelter on the eve of an impending nuclear Winter. Thank you. Have a good day.”

Richard Scott Gimbel II, February 17th, 1979 – January 15th, 2012.

10. Always 10 ever since.
I miss you.
Every day.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on January 15, 2015 at 3:26 pm, filed under Friends, Love and tagged , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Truth or Dare?

Ok, only truths.

We should have stopped

When you leaned over to kiss me

I should have realised

I should have driven us off the PCH

and on to the edge

to the beach

and kissed you for real

I wanted to hold on to you

and let them Santa Ana winds

wake us

It would have been

so beautiful

But I kept my eyes on the road
and let you play
her song
in my car

This entry was written by Joey, posted on June 25, 2014 at 9:18 am, filed under Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Love, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Three Oh

coney1

Some of you might not know
this but today is DJ Slow
‘s birthday
He’s turning 23
on the 23rd
which makes this his champagne
birthday

more than jtt
cuz
less than three

just hold on we’re going home

Happy Birthday, BB.
<3 <3 <3

This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 23, 2013 at 4:49 am, filed under Babes, Friends, Love, New York, Photos and tagged , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

One year without you

One year ago, I saw this. I saw Michelle’s facebook status on my feed and I couldn’t believe it. I said no. No. And I called Trudy. I called Trudy what seemed like a thousand times and she wasn’t answering. So I sat there going through my phone book calling anyone I knew who might’ve also known you. Ron picked up. He saw it, too. But he didn’t know, nobody knew exactly what happened.

Except that you were gone.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t do anything but cry and listen to the sound of my emails coming through hundreds of times all day like they do every day. Except for the first time in years, I had absolutely no intention of dealing with them.

Ping
Ping

Ping

Ping

There wasn’t much of the ceramic floor that wasn’t covered in kleenex butterflies.

Marissa got a flight to Miami.
Remember when the three of us had lunch on the patio at Urth Caffe? It was years ago. But not so long that I couldn’t tell you exactly what was said. What happened in the days after, word for word.

I didn’t sleep.

I got pretty the next day. I held Charlie’s hand in the cab from the airport back to 14th and Collins. He asked me how I’d been and I had to tell him “My ex passed away” and pretended to be ok.

It was a lot of pretending to be ok.
We ate and we fucked and we hung out on the beach. And then Marissa arrived, for my sake, and it was a lot of fun like it should have been. Listening to Mario, wearing leopard prints, singing Disney songs drunk, and ordering tater tots at The Standard pool. And it was the same, mostly, for the rest of the year.

A lot of coasting by.

But there are times. Like when Dov said I could write a memo to the staff about you, between a plate of oysters being removed and another dish being placed on the table. Or when I had to live in the house I last shared with you, for months. And I could feel you in every corner. Making fun of me. Or every single. fucking. time I see that polaroid of you, the one that Maceo said was his favourite of all.

And today.
Today, it will be hard.

And I think the worst part of it all is knowing that they will never understand – all the people, everyone who hadn’t gotten to know you – just how incredibly special you were. There will never be another you. Absolutely not.

And I know, by no means, am I a patron of your memory. These are just mine.
And I miss you.
Forever, at times.

Richard Scott Gimbel II, February 17th, 1979 – January 15th, 2012.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on January 16, 2013 at 10:30 am, filed under Friends, Love, Writing and tagged . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

What Albert Einstein taught me about love

This is my dog. It is a boy dog and his name is Albert Einstein.
I rescued him from the Harlem Animal Care & Control Center on August 18th because he was cute and he was going to die if I didn’t.

At first, he was meant to be a foster. We’d have him for a few weeks until he’d find a forever home but he was so well behaved and adorable, we decided to adopt him.

I love our dog. Chris loves our dog. Although, I am pretty sure that Chris loves our dog more than I love our dog.

This is my relationship with the dog. I don’t wake up in the morning to take it for a walk – Chris does that. I feed him. He’ll scratch at the door and I’ll let him into the room but he’s not allowed on the bed.

I say a few things like:

“Hello you are dog!”
“You are so cute!”
“Who’s a fluffy nutter? Albie!”

I make sure his vet and food costs are taken care of. That he is clean and warm and walked at appropriate intervals. That’s about it. That’s as far as my love goes.

Chris takes him out about 90% of the time (thank you). He sleeps with the dog. He talks about loving our dog so much and how that is why he knows he’s capable of loving, which in turn must mean that he’s not a bad person.

I think Chris loves our dog so much because our dog loves him back unconditionally. Albert’s needs are very simple. His job is to be cute and loving. That is it.

There is a point to this. My thoughts are, that it’s very easy for a man to love you. Make him feel like a better man, make sure that you love him a fuck ton, but especially, don’t be demanding with your love. Emphasis on the last part of that sentence.

Be simple and sweet.

But who wants to be simple?

That is why I’m glad I have a dog.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on October 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm, filed under Joey Ng, Love, New York, Photos, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

Homecoming

When one half

returns

to its other.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on July 31, 2012 at 11:57 pm, filed under Babes, Friends, Love, New York, Photos and tagged , , , , . Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

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