JOEY NG  | e-mail |
I married Adam.
We went to the Beverly Hills Courthouse and the whole ceremony lasted about 10 minutes.
I don’t remember any our vows.
But I’m pretty sure I promised to love you forever.
Which is all that matters.
Well that, and that I didn’t look like a fat cinderella
in my $50 dress,
Santee Alley shoes,
and perfect ring.
Love is all that matters
and friends
and family
your giant family
and our little one.
Photos by Alexandra Kacha at Alexandra Kacha Photography
Flowers by Sarah Lineberger at Hand and Rose
This entry was written by , posted on October 19, 2018 at 10:19 am, filed under Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Love, Photos and tagged Adam Nix, Alexandra Kacha, Beverly Hills, Bryan Nix, Evan Nix, Hand and Rose, Joey Ng, Joey Nix, Kim Nix, Los Angeles, Randy Washington, Sarah Lineberger, Suzanne Schiller Nix, Wedding. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
One Revolution Around The Sun from MTV c/o Richard Turley on Vimeo.
I started wearing my wedding band again. To remind myself that I’m stronger than I feel. I recently interviewed Amy Jo Martin, who wore red nail polish every day for 5 years as a confidence trigger whenever she felt unworthy.
This is my wedding band. It’s an ouroboros. Eternal chaos and renewal. My physician told me that my life has been series of crises, one after the other. He referred me to a crisis therapist, but I never called. Because I never feel stressed or sad unless it involves a broken heart.
Otherwise, I’m stronger than I feel.
In our time of shiny happy social media feeds, I figured I’d try to review my year in earnest and show you all of the darker periods and how it’s ok. How I’m doing ok and whatever shit you’re going through – that too shall pass.
THE CRISES
Divorce
This was the year that my divorce was final. And although I haven’t spoken to Chris since I filed a restraining order against him, it marked a real sense of closure. I don’t talk about this often, as it is a particularly painful story – but it is over. The important lessons are to always put your personal safety first and never let a broken person, break you.
This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome, which is why I’ve chosen the ring as my talisman for courage.
My boss, the CEO of American Apparel, Dov Charney gets booted from the company he founded
This has been covered extensively in the news. And while it may be fun schadenfreude fodder for those who have participated in the culture of American Apparel in some way for the past decade, this had very real and difficult ramifications in my life.
While I had been living out of a suitcase since 2009, I was accustomed to the organised chaos and rhythm in which we ran the company. I’d written about my thoughts on this here. There was an extremely high level of uncertainty and instability.
When you’ve dedicated most of the waking hours of your adult life to working there as I had, it often feels like your career is all you have. Some malevolent force was fucking with the one constant, my every day, my foundation, my family.
I was fired
After 7 years of tenure, I was fired from both of my positions at American Apparel as Marketing Director and Retail Director of our Australian subsidiary. Under new management and within 2 weeks of a new supervisor – I encountered hostile bullying and discrimination, filed an HR complaint, 48 hours later I was out of a job, my US work visa, and $40,000 worth of unpaid bonuses.
This didn’t stop them from taking credit for positive work that myself and my colleagues were responsible for, after throwing us out the door.
American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy which make my shares worthless and legal claims effectively frozen. But bad situations give us the best ideas, my views changed in ways I never thought they would.
When cash is scarce, you figure out what your life essentials are. In things, in people, in beliefs. This means that I no longer put up with a lot of bullshit out of loyalty, obligation, or mercenary reasons.
My dog died
Miss you, Albert Einstein. You were a great physicist.
THE CURES
Now, remember how I said it’ll be alright? I had a destabilising year, but the pros always outweighed the cons and I thank Based God for the generosity of all the people in my life. Here’s what kept me afloat.
Great Sex
Incredible sex will change your life. Let’s not discredit how something so basic can alter your entire mood. I thought I was doing alright in this arena until I was dumbfounded by a specific experience. I asked my partner at the time how he became the best I’d ever had. For someone who never says much, his response was sweet and profound.
“It’s not me, it’s us. It’s about two people connecting, and we’re just very connected.”
Imagine going your entire life having never been vulnerable enough to share that kind of connection with someone.
Sometimes you have to love like you have nothing to lose.
And who knows? Your entire universe might expand in a moment of surrender.
Female Friends
No relationship is stronger than that of a female bond. I wholeheartedly believe this. I just broke up with someone I really, really, really liked. For every time I’ve been in a tailspin, the unconditional support and humour from my friends and sisters have always brought me back to some semblance of sanity.
Women confide in each other and listen, really listen and care. It’s a type of intimacy that may never be achieved through romantic relationships. For romance to work, there has to be some suspension of belief and female friendships are as real as they get. Ugly cries, guilty admissions, secret slobby behaviours, and mental hospitalization levels of cray are all safe territory in the context of BFFs.
Love you, bitches.
Home
I’d never been to Europe before, and this year I made it a priority to get to Paris. It wasn’t all that.
My favourite moments were centered on one-on-one time spent in my air bnb with some very special dear-to-my-heart dudes.
Hot showers shared, home made breakfasts, listening to lesser-known Bieber tracks. It made me miss home.
Home being a person, and not a place.
Here’s to you, my people.
Happy New Year.
With love,
your girl.
This entry was written by , posted on December 31, 2015 at 5:09 pm, filed under Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Love, New York, Sex, Writing and tagged Albert Einstein, American Apparel, Amy Jo Martin, Divorce, DJ Slow, Dog, Dov Charney, DTLA, Echo Park, Endless Love Ring, Ilirjana Aлусхај, Kiara Sayer, Lena Vanderford, Lower East Side, Marie McNally, Marketing Director, MTV, Nora Kogan, Paris, Penelope Trunk, Refinery29, Silverlake, Social Media, Susie G, Thina Desancic, Thomas Duval, Tiffany Tyson. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
It’s a completely different festival, backstage. You forget that there are 65,000 people out there when you only see a dozen of your friends inside an air-conditioned trailer park. Most of them utterly exhausted from festival after flight after festival. The hardest part is the waiting and the watching someone you care about on the brink of collapse, pulling themselves together because their job is to make a sea of strangers happy. That somehow when you haven’t any, the energy must be brought to a pounding pitch.
So you drink as much as you can find, smoke as much as you feel alright about missing a set
and try to find some sanity amongst it all.
Which is hugging your mates from different states and shores.
Getting silly with the sponsored marketing ploys and remembering to enjoy
what you came here for
the music (duh)
and the booty.
This entry was written by , posted on August 11, 2015 at 9:09 am, filed under Events, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Music and tagged & Other Stories, American Apparel, Cashmere Cat, DJ Slow, DJs, Hard, Hard Festival, Hard Summer, Hudson Mohawke, Magnus August Høiberg, Moschino, Nadus, Pelican Fly, Rahshon Bright, Ross Birchard, T. Williams, Tesfa Williams, Thomas Duval. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
While I was at Morty’s place, his lovely friend, Brynn, came by and asked us to take part in a project where we’d get our photos taken and answer a bunch of questions as single people to let other single people know that it’s completely ok to be single.
IT’S OK TO BE SINGLE! Did you know?
Morty and I totally did not make any jokes about us being unmarriageble and definitely not any about being forever alone. [yes we did.]
Anyhoo, I eventually found out the project was intended as content marketing for a clothing company that I couldn’t co-sign with but nonetheless, here are my answers.
Read on if you want to know what it might take to get me to co-sign to your lifestyle brand life.
What are you looking for in a romantic partner?
David Letterman. A David Letterman that is also a massive fan of Drake.
How important is being in a relationship to you?
Out of 100, negative correlation to degrees fahrenheit.
What’s your favorite ice breaker (not pick-up line)?
Sliding into my DMs.
Have you ever had a “meet cute”?
Yes. Pretty much the same meet cute, which has happened twice.
What’s the best real-life “meet cute” you can recall?
I saw a hot guy during brunch a few tables away and thought nothing more of it. That night at a bar in the neighbourhood, I walked up to order drinks and he was the bartender. When he left at the end of his shift, he walked behind me and pulled on my hair – elementary school style – the rest is history.
Same thing happened more recently. Intimidatingly attractive guy spotted from afar at brunch. Saw him at a bar later that same day. I knew I just HAD to find an opportunity – and the balls – to talk to him. I’m so so so happy I did.
Tell me about your best/ideal date:
Best:
Waking up to a perfect, sunny Easter Sunday at Rick Rubin’s Malibu Ranch, eating Eggs Benny in the garden outside Bob Dylan’s old tour bus, then driving out to the beach listening to old Soul. Sprinkle in lots of booze, making out, and sex throughout the day. That’s a bit of name-dropping but I’d never been anywhere so tranquil, so imbued with history from musical legends that I adore with a man I loved even more.
Ideal:
Seeing a Drake concert where Louis CK is the special guest. With David Letterman. David Letterman holds my hand. Drake serenades me. Louis CK and I wander off into the dawn and discover eugenic methods whereby I can still have his ginger babies even though I’m Asian.
What do you most value in a friend?
The ability to tolerate me at my worst and never, ever, ever leaving our friendship despite me being the worst person ever. Thanks, friends!
What do you most value in a romantic partner?
Magic at kissing.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Smiling at puppies. Puppies smile back.
Which living person do you most admire?
My very own Tiger Mom.
What is the quality you like most in a man/woman?
Extraordinary talent in his chosen field of interest.
What is the quality you like least in a man/woman?
Substance addiction.
When and where were you happiest?
Giggling in bed with my best friend as we took selfles impersonating the dreadful faces that babies have in Renaissance paintings. see: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahjewell/renaissance-babies-who-cant-even
Photo credit: Brynn Campbell
This entry was written by , posted on May 18, 2015 at 11:06 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto and tagged Brynn Campbell, Dundas, Ossington. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Why does it have to be so scary
especially when it means growing attached to someone else
heavy the heart that feels responsible for another
for their joy
and their misery
and every emotion in between
how do you know if this is it
what if something better comes along
why do we always assume
something better will come along
what if it doesn’t
what if
what if i’m the best you’ll ever have
it should be so simple, really
just put your hand on your heart
and ask yourself
do you want me now
and will you still love me
tomorrow?
This entry was written by , posted on May 15, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Babes, Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged East Village, Fineline Tattoo, Kiara Sayer, Lil' Frankie's, Linze Mason, Lower East Side, Thina Desancic. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
I don’t want the small talk
I don’t want a fucking coffee
you should know by now that I don’t drink it anyway
You know me better than this
I don’t need you to fix
anything
I want your bloody forsaken heart
I want your face between my legs
I want your tears before a closed door
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
you to
touch me
and do it again.
This entry was written by , posted on April 22, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto, Writing and tagged Ossington, St. Lawrence Market, The Distillery, True Love Café. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Photo Credit: Thina Desancic
The Lower East Side is the center of my universe. Orchard St. being the aorta, that is, if I only had a heart.
I have exactly 2 weeks left in my most beloved neighbourhood. So if you’d like to hop on some wheels and make me a deal, do it now.
It could be our last chance at
true romance or our
first dance with
no pants.
So if you’re calling,
Call, don’t text
and remember to
Call, to say, I love you.
This entry was written by , posted on April 17, 2015 at 4:00 pm, filed under Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged Lower East Side, Orchard, Stanton, Thina Desancic. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Crossing that bridge cuz I got there
I don’t check my emails
I do what I want and I been about you and I’m still about you
I’m blogging again
I’ll be fine
This entry was written by , posted on April 7, 2015 at 10:11 am, filed under Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged Brooklyn, Thina Desancic, Williamsburg Bridge. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
they say
If someone says my heart belongs to someone else
You’re supposed to say I’m a strong independent medium beige woman who don’t need no man
If someone says pack up your shit n GTFO
You’re supposed to go peace out see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya
But if you’re me you gotta keep it real wit chyer selfie
and take it one day at the time cuz pretending it’s all gravy sure ain’t easy
(pool helps)
This entry was written by , posted on April 6, 2015 at 11:05 am, filed under Food, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Photos and tagged Commissary, Ilirjana Aлусхај, Koreatown, The Line Hotel, Thina Desancic. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
In new friends?
In no new friends?
In famous?
In family?
In separables?
In selfies?
In Drake?
In 808s and heartbreak?
Or where the path may take?
Happy New Year.
With love,
your girl.
This entry was written by , posted on December 31, 2014 at 5:05 pm, filed under Babes, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, New York, Photos, Toronto and tagged Albert Einstein Reed-Ng, Annabel Ly, Avery Ross, Bruce Venture, Cashmere Cat, Chelsea Claridge, Cory Wong, Dione Davis, DJ Slow, Dogs, Dov Charney, Four Tet, Gail Jong, Geng Grizzly, Hudson Mohawke, Ilirjana Aлусхај, Jayne Lies, Kiara Sayer, Kieran Hebden, Leanne Hebert-Nguyen, Lee Bannon, Lena Vanderford, Los Angeles, Lower East Side, Magnus August Høiberg, Mallory Blair, Marie McNally, Meredith Cheesbrough, Metta World Peace, New York, Pomeranian, Poodle, Reese Jong, Rocky Li, Ron Artest, Ross Birchard, Ryan Hemsworth, Sam Tiba, Selfies, Silverlake, Small Girls PR, Social Media, Susie G, Thomas Duval, Tiffany Tyson, Toronto, Twitter, Zohra O'Doherty. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.