I started wearing my wedding band again. To remind myself that I’m stronger than I feel. I recently interviewed Amy Jo Martin, who wore red nail polish every day for 5 years as a confidence trigger whenever she felt unworthy.
This is my wedding band. It’s an ouroboros. Eternal chaos and renewal. My physician told me that my life has been series of crises, one after the other. He referred me to a crisis therapist, but I never called. Because I never feel stressed or sad unless it involves a broken heart.
Otherwise, I’m stronger than I feel.
In our time of shiny happy social media feeds, I figured I’d try to review my year in earnest and show you all of the darker periods and how it’s ok. How I’m doing ok and whatever shit you’re going through – that too shall pass.
This was the year that my divorce was final. And although I haven’t spoken to Chris since I filed a restraining order against him, it marked a real sense of closure. I don’t talk about this often, as it is a particularly painful story – but it is over. The important lessons are to always put your personal safety first and never let a broken person, break you.
This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome, which is why I’ve chosen the ring as my talisman for courage.
My boss, the CEO of American Apparel, Dov Charney gets booted from the company he founded
This has been covered extensively in the news. And while it may be fun schadenfreude fodder for those who have participated in the culture of American Apparel in some way for the past decade, this had very real and difficult ramifications in my life.
While I had been living out of a suitcase since 2009, I was accustomed to the organised chaos and rhythm in which we ran the company. I’d written about my thoughts on this here. There was an extremely high level of uncertainty and instability.
When you’ve dedicated most of the waking hours of your adult life to working there as I had, it often feels like your career is all you have. Some malevolent force was fucking with the one constant, my every day, my foundation, my family.
I was fired
After 7 years of tenure, I was fired from both of my positions at American Apparel as Marketing Director and Retail Director of our Australian subsidiary. Under new management and within 2 weeks of a new supervisor – I encountered hostile bullying and discrimination, filed an HR complaint, 48 hours later I was out of a job, my US work visa, and $40,000 worth of unpaid bonuses.
This didn’t stop them from taking credit for positive work that myself and my colleagues were responsible for, after throwing us out the door.
American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy which make my shares worthless and legal claims effectively frozen. But bad situations give us the best ideas, my views changed in ways I never thought they would.
When cash is scarce, you figure out what your life essentials are. In things, in people, in beliefs. This means that I no longer put up with a lot of bullshit out of loyalty, obligation, or mercenary reasons.
My dog died
Miss you, Albert Einstein. You were a great physicist.
Now, remember how I said it’ll be alright? I had a destabilising year, but the pros always outweighed the cons and I thank Based God for the generosity of all the people in my life. Here’s what kept me afloat.
Incredible sex will change your life. Let’s not discredit how something so basic can alter your entire mood. I thought I was doing alright in this arena until I was dumbfounded by a specific experience. I asked my partner at the time how he became the best I’d ever had. For someone who never says much, his response was sweet and profound.
“It’s not me, it’s us. It’s about two people connecting, and we’re just very connected.”
Imagine going your entire life having never been vulnerable enough to share that kind of connection with someone.
Sometimes you have to love like you have nothing to lose.
And who knows? Your entire universe might expand in a moment of surrender.
No relationship is stronger than that of a female bond. I wholeheartedly believe this. I just broke up with someone I really, really, really liked. For every time I’ve been in a tailspin, the unconditional support and humour from my friends and sisters have always brought me back to some semblance of sanity.
Women confide in each other and listen, really listen and care. It’s a type of intimacy that may never be achieved through romantic relationships. For romance to work, there has to be some suspension of belief and female friendships are as real as they get. Ugly cries, guilty admissions, secret slobby behaviours, and mental hospitalization levels of cray are all safe territory in the context of BFFs.
Love you, bitches.
I’d never been to Europe before, and this year I made it a priority to get to Paris. It wasn’t all that.
My favourite moments were centered on one-on-one time spent in my air bnb with some very special dear-to-my-heart dudes.
Hot showers shared, home made breakfasts, listening to lesser-known Bieber tracks. It made me miss home.
Home being a person, and not a place.
Here’s to you, my people.
Happy New Year.
This entry was written by Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Love, New York, Sex, Writing and tagged Albert Einstein, American Apparel, Amy Jo Martin, Divorce, DJ Slow, Dog, Dov Charney, DTLA, Echo Park, Endless Love Ring, Ilirjana Aлусхај, Kiara Sayer, Lena Vanderford, Lower East Side, Marie McNally, Marketing Director, MTV, Nora Kogan, Paris, Penelope Trunk, Refinery29, Silverlake, Social Media, Susie G, Thina Desancic, Thomas Duval, Tiffany Tyson. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on December 31, 2015 at 5:09 pm, filed under
In new friends?
In no new friends?
In 808s and heartbreak?
Or where the path may take?
Happy New Year.
This entry was written by Babes, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, New York, Photos, Toronto and tagged Albert Einstein Reed-Ng, Annabel Ly, Avery Ross, Bruce Venture, Cashmere Cat, Chelsea Claridge, Cory Wong, Dione Davis, DJ Slow, Dogs, Dov Charney, Four Tet, Gail Jong, Geng Grizzly, Hudson Mohawke, Ilirjana Aлусхај, Jared Rosenbaum, Jayne Lies, Kiara Sayer, Kieran Hebden, Leanne Hebert-Nguyen, Lee Bannon, Lena Vanderford, Los Angeles, Lower East Side, Magnus August Høiberg, Mallory Blair, Marie McNally, Meredith Cheesbrough, Metta World Peace, New York, Pomeranian, Poodle, Reese Jong, Rocky Li, Ron Artest, Ross Birchard, Ryan Hemsworth, Sam Tiba, Selfies, Silverlake, Small Girls PR, Social Media, Susie G, Thomas Duval, Tiffany Tyson, Toronto, Twitter, Zohra O'Doherty. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on December 31, 2014 at 5:05 pm, filed under
Scotch & Soda opened up a new store in Union Square and the launch party was hella packed.
We swiftly left to make room for all the suckers in line and headed to the NMRKT Fashion Series Party at Mister H.
This neon sign says LOVE HAPPINESS DRUNKENNESS
And since none of the chicks were prostitutes, the boys had to play a game of who’s taller than whom to score ’em.
But hey, why not take ’em both for 13 feet of fun!
Or an AZN and a JEWZN cuz it’s all good when you’re up to no good.
This entry was written by Events, Fashion, Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged Chris Reed, Electric Gentleman, Julia Jacobson, Kelsey Panicco, Max Bosch, Miguel Gesso, Mister H, Mondrian SoHo, Natalie Off Duty, Natalie Suarez, NMRKT, Ryan Fleisch, Scotch & Soda, Susie G, The Fashion Series, Union Square, Vesper Wolfe. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on April 8, 2013 at 9:00 am, filed under
Story of my life. I guess I have a ton of white girl problems even though I’m yellow.
Book release party for White Girl Problems by the trio that is Babe Walker. Everyone I know was there so it was a grand slam time.
Milk Studio’s babliest babe, Jessica Conatser.
Ubiquitous. Kept drinking greyhounds redubbed Size Zeros. (But like what if I’m a double zeroooooo… #whitegirlproblems. Jay. Kay. I’m like a size 10. PERFECT 10.)
Justin Bridges tweeted “Reunited and it feels so good” MMHMM!
FAKE HIGH FIVING! Well, it’s always fake for Chris because he’s 70 feet tall.
Sigh* bassists… heartthrob, Kyle McCammon, making my heart skip a beat.
B the Great and his Aussie blogger friend, Tom Jackson. Is everything coming up Australian these days? Are Australians the new Asians? (Never.)
Dance party time.
Who’s ready for a Milk Made fashion week?
This entry was written by Books, Events, Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged #whitegirlproblems, B Graeter, Babe Walker, Bianca Caampued, Chris Reed, Izzy Tuason, Jessica Conatser, Justin Bridges, Kanon, Kyle McCammon, Mallory Blair, Milk, Milk Gallery, Small Girls PR, Susie G, Tom Jackson, Vodka, White Girl Problems. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on February 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm, filed under
Day trip to Vegas! Went back since everyone was in town for Project and Magic. Got up bright and early with the sun. Then we figured out the blackout curtains. Bliss!
Got triple booked for dinner trying to fit in plans to see all of my friends from the East coast.
Vanity shots while waiting for an executive decision, haven’t worn a full face of make up in a long time. Gotta fit in in Sin City.
Heirloom Tomato Bufula Mozzarella
Rigatoni Sausage Bolognese
Steak. Their chimichurri was sooooo delicious. Put that on everything.
Miss you so hard, Susie!!
Thank you to StyleCaster and
LAVO Las Vegas
3255 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, NV 89109
This entry was written by Food, Friends, Joey Ng, Las Vegas, Photos and tagged Ari Goldberg, David Goldberg, Dinner, LAVO, LAVO Las Vegas, StyleCaster, Susie G, The Palazzo. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on September 1, 2011 at 9:00 am, filed under
Miss you, bodyguard!
Sponsored by my favourite beer, Heineken. Open bar drained the regular so we moved on to lights.
Secret garden vibe.
Orchids installed under table tops.
Wide open deck.
Some bro was hating on top buns. In the sweltering Manhattan heat, we had to represent. Team Top Bun!
This entry was written by Events, Friends, Joey Ng, New York and tagged BlackBook, Chris Reed, Heineken, Hotel Chantelle, Lower East Side, New York, Susie G. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on July 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm, filed under
Diesel showcased their feminine, make-up inspired Summer collection at their Lexington & 60th store.
Fresh colours, bleached splatters, and ‘The Jean that Kate Middleton Wore’.
Every girl knows you’ve got to try on at least a dozen pairs (if not more) before you find the right one. Pretty PR girls, fashion editors, and bloggers had loads of fun testing out fits and washes.
Susie G trendstarting the dropped-crotch pinstripe jeans for the evening.
Patrick, Diesel’s denim buyer, was on hand to help us with our picks.
Make Up Forever gave mini-makeovers to complement the denim line’s cosmetics influences.
I fell for their intense orange lippy.
Cory Kennedy brought along friends and caught up with Nylon editor, Dani Stahl.
The pair I picked, ‘Hushy’. Light, light wash with pastel water-coloured streaks. Reminds me of a rainbow sno-cone.
Approval from Dani, the event’s star stylist, rocking her distressed aqua Diesels.
For more on Powder – the Diesel Spring/Summer line click here.
This entry was written by Events, Fashion, New York and tagged Cory Kennedy, Dani Stahl, Diesel USA, Jeans, Make Up Forever, Susie G, The Powder of Diesel. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on April 29, 2011 at 2:02 am, filed under
I tweeted “Am I ashamed or amazed at how quickly I pulled together a prom look from my closet? ”
Who doesn’t like prom? I LOVE PROM.
The Standard’s staff babes. Love their Sailor Striped uniforms!
Prom princess and priestess.
This entry was written by Events, Joey Ng, New York and tagged American Apparel, Blossom Hair Clip, Joey Ng, Le Bain, Multi-Layered Reversible Petticoat, Small Girls PR, Styleite, Susie G, The Standard Hotel, Tumblr, Unisex Sailor Stripe Long Sleeve Pullover. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on April 25, 2011 at 1:09 am, filed under
Launched with an art exhibit by Craig Costello at 18 Wooster – Spray Paint the Walls.
With Wendy Lam [nitrolicious.com], recently connected with her again in NYC for the first time in years.
Known this little miss for over a decade! Looking like a cutie pie in her American Apparel wool cape.
Susie G with her new 21 Jump Street bob haircut and friend, Clay Murphy.
I miss wearing these sequined shorts. Always accessorize with psychosis.
Lucky number 3.
Adorable baby girl. Have been noticing a lot of parents in the art crowd bringing their kids along. Coolest toddlers ever.
Band of beer.
CREEP killing it with their performance. Moody and enchanting within the painted space.
Lauren Dillard of CREEP. Skeleton leggings? Yes!
Kevin Leong [Fold Your Paper] and his baby, Change the Pomeranian. She was fresh out from the groomers. Can’t handle the cute.
According to Susie G, we had infiltrated Babe Fort Knox that evening. Mmhmm.
This entry was written by Art, Babes, Events, Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged 18 Wooster, Asahi, Beer, Clay Murphy, Craig Costello, Creep, Fold Your Paper, G-Shock, Jeremiah Griffiths, Joey Ng, Kevin Leong, Krink, Lauren Dillard, New York City, Nitrolicious, Soba Eshima, Susie G, Tribeca, Wendy Lam. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink., posted on April 11, 2011 at 6:17 am, filed under