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ask me anything
Will you still love me, tomorrow?

If you wanna be my lover

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

While I was at Morty’s place, his lovely friend, Brynn, came by and asked us to take part in a project where we’d get our photos taken and answer a bunch of questions as single people to let other single people know that it’s completely ok to be single.

IT’S OK TO BE SINGLE! Did you know?
Morty and I totally did not make any jokes about us being unmarriageble and definitely not any about being forever alone. [yes we did.]

Anyhoo, I eventually found out the project was intended as content marketing for a clothing company that I couldn’t co-sign with but nonetheless, here are my answers.

Read on if you want to know what it might take to get me to co-sign to your lifestyle brand life.

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

What are you looking for in a romantic partner?

David Letterman. A David Letterman that is also a massive fan of Drake.

How important is being in a relationship to you?

Out of 100, negative correlation to degrees fahrenheit.

What’s your favorite ice breaker (not pick-up line)?

Sliding into my DMs.

Have you ever had a “meet cute”?

Yes. Pretty much the same meet cute, which has happened twice.

What’s the best real-life “meet cute” you can recall?

I saw a hot guy during brunch a few tables away and thought nothing more of it. That night at a bar in the neighbourhood, I walked up to order drinks and he was the bartender. When he left at the end of his shift, he walked behind me and pulled on my hair – elementary school style – the rest is history.

Same thing happened more recently. Intimidatingly attractive guy spotted from afar at brunch. Saw him at a bar later that same day. I knew I just HAD to find an opportunity – and the balls – to talk to him. I’m so so so happy I did.

Tell me about your best/ideal date:

Best:
Waking up to a perfect, sunny Easter Sunday at Rick Rubin’s Malibu Ranch, eating Eggs Benny in the garden outside Bob Dylan’s old tour bus, then driving out to the beach listening to old Soul. Sprinkle in lots of booze, making out, and sex throughout the day. That’s a bit of name-dropping but I’d never been anywhere so tranquil, so imbued with history from musical legends that I adore with a man I loved even more.

Ideal:
Seeing a Drake concert where Louis CK is the special guest. With David Letterman. David Letterman holds my hand. Drake serenades me. Louis CK and I wander off into the dawn and discover eugenic methods whereby I can still have his ginger babies even though I’m Asian.

What do you most value in a friend?

The ability to tolerate me at my worst and never, ever, ever leaving our friendship despite me being the worst person ever. Thanks, friends!

What do you most value in a romantic partner?

Magic at kissing.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Smiling at puppies. Puppies smile back.

Which living person do you most admire?

My very own Tiger Mom.

What is the quality you like most in a man/woman?

Extraordinary talent in his chosen field of interest.

What is the quality you like least in a man/woman?

Substance addiction.

Joey Ng Toronto April 2015

When and where were you happiest?

Giggling in bed with my best friend as we took selfles impersonating the dreadful faces that babies have in Renaissance paintings. see: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahjewell/renaissance-babies-who-cant-even

Photo credit: Brynn Campbell

This entry was written by Joey, posted on May 18, 2015 at 11:06 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto and tagged , , .
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Commitment

Thina Desancic East Village New York 2015

Why does it have to be so scary

Linza Mason Thina Desancic East Village New York 2015

especially when it means growing attached to someone else

heavy the heart that feels responsible for another

Linze Mason East Village New York 2015

for their joy
and their misery
and every emotion in between

Kiara Sayer Thina Desancic Lil Frankies East Village New York 2015

how do you know if this is it

what if something better comes along

why do we always assume
something better will come along

Joey Ng Lil Frankies East Village New York 2015

what if it doesn’t

what if

what if i’m the best you’ll ever have

Thina Desancic East Village New York 2015

it should be so simple, really
just put your hand on your heart

2015040311

and ask yourself

2015040312

do you want me now

Joey Ng Lower East Side New York 2015

and will you still love me
tomorrow?

This entry was written by Joey, posted on May 15, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Babes, Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged , , , , , , .
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Distill

I don’t want the small talk

I don’t want a fucking coffee
you should know by now that I don’t drink it anyway
You know me better than this

I don’t need you to fix
anything

I want your bloody forsaken heart
I want your face between my legs
I want your tears before a closed door

I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want
I want

you to

touch me
and do it again.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 22, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Joey Ng, Love, Photos, Toronto, Writing and tagged , , , .
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Orchard St.


Photo Credit: Thina Desancic

The Lower East Side is the center of my universe. Orchard St. being the aorta, that is, if I only had a heart.

I have exactly 2 weeks left in my most beloved neighbourhood. So if you’d like to hop on some wheels and make me a deal, do it now.

It could be our last chance at
true romance or our
first dance with
no pants.

So if you’re calling,
Call, don’t text
and remember to
Call, to say, I love you.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 17, 2015 at 4:00 pm, filed under Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged , , , .
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Prince Farming

I went home to Toronto for a few days and found myself making plans with too many people and then only following through with a few. Morty‘s one of ’em. I’ve known him for a decade. It’s always comforting to be around those who’ve been around before you’ve been around the block. Before the banal, before the baggage, before the blogs.

David Morton Toronto 2015

This vine on his ceiling has been growing for five years and we’ve only just met. Last time I saw anything dangling in his bedroom it was two ladies eclipsed by a closed door.

David Morton Toronto 2015

Now he uses his boyish good looks and Upper Canadian charm to coax salad from seeds. He fed me a kale leaf plucked from the ancient Chinese clay and tilapia rig he’s got because he’s the G.O.A.T.

David Morton Toronto 2015

Know what else is great?

David Morton Toronto 2015

The fact that he gives out free unadultered advice to weirdos.

David Morton Toronto 2015

And since I hear he’s single, maybe he just needs the right one to call.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 15, 2015 at 11:00 am, filed under Babes, Friends, Photos, Toronto and tagged , , .
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What’s it like on the other side?

Crossing that bridge cuz I got there

Joey Ng Williamsburg Bridge Brooklyn

I don’t check my emails

Williamsburg Bridge Brooklyn

I do what I want and I been about you and I’m still about you

Thina Desancic Williamsburg Bridge Brooklyn

I’m blogging again

Williamsburg Bridge Brooklyn

I’ll be fine

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 7, 2015 at 10:11 am, filed under Friends, Joey Ng, New York, Photos and tagged , , .
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Success is the best revenge

they say

Ilirjana Alushaj Joey Ng The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

If someone says my heart belongs to someone else

Thina Desancic The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

You’re supposed to say I’m a strong independent medium beige woman who don’t need no man

Commissary The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

If someone says pack up your shit n GTFO

Ilirjana Alushaj The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

You’re supposed to go peace out see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya

Cobb Salad Cocktails Commissary The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

But if you’re me you gotta keep it real wit chyer selfie

Joey Ng The Line Hotel Pool Los Angeles California

and take it one day at the time cuz pretending it’s all gravy sure ain’t easy

(pool helps)

This entry was written by Joey, posted on April 6, 2015 at 11:05 am, filed under Food, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Photos and tagged , , , , .
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Endless Winter

“You’ve reached Richard S. Gimbel the Second. Adjunct Professor, a Fashion Designer, and Visual Merchandising. Maker of unique apparel items and accessories. Amateur investigator. Native Phoenician and U.S. Patriot. Disc Jockey and traveling talent support. Likes architecture, confused by Burning Man. Please leave a message ranked in a scale of importance of 1 to 10. 1 being the invitation for a casual coffee date and 10 being the directions to a fall-out shelter on the eve of an impending nuclear Winter. Thank you. Have a good day.”

Richard Scott Gimbel II, February 17th, 1979 – January 15th, 2012.

10. Always 10 ever since.
I miss you.
Every day.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on January 15, 2015 at 3:26 pm, filed under Friends, Love and tagged , , .
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How do you measure a year?

In new friends?

Ilirjana Alushaj, Los Angeles 2014Tiffany Tyson, Cashmere Cat, Joey Ng, Annabel Ly, Echoplex, Los Angeles, February 2014Ryan Hemsworth Marcel the Dog Los Angeles, February 2014
Jared Rosenbaum, Albert Einstein, Los Angeles 2014Breakfast with Lee Bannon, Brooklyn 20142nd Ave Deli with Geng Grizzly
Lena Vanderford, Marie McNally, Dione Davis, Chelsea Claridge, Adidas Stan Smith Event, New York 2014Sam Tiba, Los Angeles 2014Zohra O'Doherty, Los Angeles 2014

In no new friends?

Joey Ng, Leanne Hebert-Nguyen, Los Angeles 2014Canadian ThanksgivingKiara Sayer Albert Einstein Los Angeles 2014
Mallory Blair, Marnie The Dog, Joey Ng, Brooklyn 2014Twerking in Little TokyoCory Wong, Avery Ross, Pete Luger's Steakhouse New York 2014
Joey Ng Meredith Cheesbrough New York 2014Joey Ng Susie Gertner ID MagazineIMG_0050

In famous?

Four Tet's Only FavouriteMetta World Peace Joey Ng Is My BossBruce Venture Good Dick Will Imprison You

In family?

IMG_6674Joey and ReeseAlbert Einstein
Processed with VSCOcam with hb1 presetIMG_7288Albert Einstein We Did It CrewIMG_7509Bogey and Gail JongDov Charney Marcel

In separables?

Dj Slow Joey Ng New York 2014

In selfies?

Joey Ng New York 2014Joey Ng Albert Einstein Los Angeles 2014Joey Ng New York 2014
Joey Ng New York 2014Joey Ng New York 2014Joey Ng New York 2014
Joey Ng New York 2014Joey Ng New York 2014Joey Ng New York 2014

In Drake?

In 808s and heartbreak?

Ross Birchard / Hudson Mohawke, Toronto, July 2014

Or where the path may take?

Happy New Year.
With love,

your girl.

This entry was written by Joey, posted on December 31, 2014 at 5:05 pm, filed under Babes, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, New York, Photos, Toronto and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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Red glare

How did you spend your America’s birthday?

Under the sun?

Giving zeros fucks?

Be an ass if you wanna?

Drinkin’? Watermelon?

Wit’cher boys?

and yer girls?

Pucker up

and plant a juicy one on ’em?

Pound it?

To the beat?

Then POP!

goes your weasel?

In her hair?

Laugh out loud?

‘Til you’re pooped?

Bask in the afterglow?

With someone you love?

By the dawn’s early light?

Or the rocket’s red glare?

Whatever you want, baby.
Cuz FREEDOM, THOUGH.

Featured in this post:
Destinee Handly
George Lewis Jr.
Adrian Rodriguez‘s backyard

This entry was written by Joey, posted on July 8, 2014 at 9:26 am, filed under Babes, Events, Friends, Joey Ng, Los Angeles, Photos and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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